Aug. 28, 2008 – English 8

Assignment Check – August 2008

Tomorrow is our first assignment check day.  Everything on the list needs to be in your file folder by the end of the period.

Revising Summary Sentences

Today we revised our summary sentences so that they are even better.  They are due tomorrow.  If you would like to have a little more input, feel free to post your sentences in the comment section and I will try to revise them.

My Sentence for “The Three Little Pigs”

There were three little pigs, who built three little houses that were threatened by a big bad wolf who killed two but couldn’t the third because of the strength of the house of bricks.

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8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Wan Ying Lim said,

    Genghis Khans was thirsty and he wanted to drink some water but his hawk knocked down the cup whenever he filled the water because the hawk found that there was a poisonous snake in the water but Genghis Khan was very angry and he killed the hawk.

    Thx, Mr. B.
    -Wan Ying Lim-8B

    Comments

    I think you could combine “was thirsty and he wanted to drink some water” all while including the fact that the water was poisonous. You’re still using 40 words to say something that you could’ve used 5. Try reordering the sentence. You’re doing good though. Maybe:

    Genghis Khans was thirsty he and wanted to drink some [creek] water but [was prevented by] his [trained hunting] hawk [who] knocked down the cup whenever he filled the water because the hawk found [saw] that there was a poisonous snake in the water but Genghis Khan [didn’t know it,] was [became] very angry and he killed the hawk.

    – Mr. B

  2. 2

    There was Genghis Khans hawk that saved the king from death but the king was so tired until he didn’t realize there was poison in his cup and killed his hawk because he think the hawk bother him.

    Peter

    Comments

    There was Genghis Khans [Khan’s] hawk that saved [tried to save him] the king from death [by knocking a cup of poisonous water from his hands] but the king was so tired until he didn’t realize there was poison in his cup and [so] killed his hawk because he think [thought] the hawk [was just trying to] bother him.

  3. 3

    William Nanda said,

    The hawk saved Genghis Khan’s life by knocking the cup of water everytime he filled the water from his hand that he got from the edge of a rock, because there was a poisonous snake lying in the pool of the edge of a rock that made the water poisonous, then he finally realize that he should never do anything in anger.

    William Nanda 8B

    Comments

    The hawk saved Genghis Khan’s [hawk saved his] life by knocking the [a] cup of [poisonous] water [from his hands] every time he filled the water from his hand that he got [it] from the edge of a rock, because there was a poisonous snake lying in the pool of the edge of a rock that made the water poisonous, [resulting in the frustrated killing of the hawk and the remorseful sorrow of the king.] then he finally realize that he should never do anything in anger.

  4. 4

    Sam Lee said,

    Mr. Brammer, may i have my first spelling practice worksheet which you promised to put on the blog today?

    ————–

    Sam, check your email… its there.

  5. 5

    Wiliyanti Sutanto said,

    After a hunting party, Genghis Khan wanted to drink water over the edge of a rock but his hawk stopped him from drinking it by knocking the cup out of his hands because it was posonous, thus, he killed it, yet realising that it was saving him.

    Wiliyanti Sutanto 8B

    Comments

    After a hunting party, Genghis Khan wanted to drink water over [from] the edge of a rock but his [trained hunting] hawk stopped him from drinking it by knocking the cup out of his hands because it [the water] was posonous [poisonous], thus, he killed it, yet [causing the king to kill the hawk, though] realising that it was [trying to] saving [save] him.

  6. 7

    William Nanda said,

    wow sir…
    tq…
    i made a lot of mistake…
    T.T
    btw tq Mr Brammer ^^

  7. 8

    Spencer Christian Lestiadi said,

    Sir, sorry that I post it lately.
    Here’s my sentence :

    There were three little pigs’ houses that were threatened by a wolf who blew down two of them, but not the third pig’s strong brick house.

    Thank you.

    God bless.


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