Sept. 11, 2008 – English 8

Short Story Revision # 3

For homework, revise your short story a third time.  You should be spending a considerable amount of time and energy on this tonight to get it right.  Start with the first sentence and then before you move on to the second, rewrite the first.  Then move on.  Do this for the entire paper.

Post your introduction in the comments section when you think it is perfect.

Come prepared tomorrow with a new, typed draft and all other drafts so far. We will edit each other’s stories tomorrow and then the final draft will be due on Monday.


5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Spencer Lestiadi said,

    Mr. Brammer, if I am not mistaken, you said that 8A should only rewrite the first page of the draft only, right ?

    But tomorrow we will do the final revising, so I guess it should be a complete draft.

    So, what should I do then ?

    Thanks. God bless you.

    – Spencer Lestiadi & 8A –


    I want you to focus on the first half, to make that great. But, yes, we will be working on the final draft tomorrow so if you are able to keep going, you should.

  2. 2

    Lasmyr Edullantes said,

    “While three brothers were traveling in the depth of a forest, they came upon a sprawling labyrinth. It’s towering, thick hedges made it look shady, dark and spooky inside. A single wooden sign, old and forgotten, lay just a foot from the labyrinth’s entrance. The three brothers walked closer to the labyrinth, inspecting the mysterious maze. The oldest of the three, Amadeus, bent and picked up the sign.”

    sir, here is my first paragraph. Please send feedback because I’m not quite sure how to revise it again. Thank you ^.^


    See if you can combine the last two sentences into one. Other then that, no changes.

  3. 3

    Spencer Lestiadi said,

    Sir, here’s my introduction sentences:

    “Oh no! I guess I will be late for tonight’s event,” said Chris, while looking at his watch which showed 11:58 p.m.

    He was in a rush to a night race. His bike’s sound was the only accompaniment for him along the way…..

    P.S. : I am sorry that I post it lately. 🙂

    Thanks. God bless.

    – Spencer C. Lestiadi –

  4. 4

    Elbert Leander Silabu said,

    MR B, I am lost here.
    Yesterday I finally stayed in a hotel that have a computer in my room!!
    Cool isnt it..

    Yesterday my hotel got internet, but i must pay around 200HK dollars a day, 50HK dollars per hour. It’s so expensive………

    I will give ypu my final revision today…

  5. 5

    Elbert Leander Silabu said,

    I forgot…
    I will be back at Wednesday and about the final draft, how should i give it to you?

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